Life in the Northeast “I could hold your hand if you like.” This is not the first time I have asked this question to another alpha male, but my macho coworker declined, choosing to suffer alone. We were both going through hand-holding-withdraw after spending a week in the Northeast of Zambia. While there, every nearbyContinue reading “August 2026”
Author Archives: Bryan Martin
MAY 2026
Using Utensils While Eating and Other Abominations Have you ever noticed the hand-cleansing effects of pulling taffy? Smearing sugary, sticky taffy all over your mitts is probably better than any $50 hand cream. Then again, I think I would rather spend $50 on some weird tool I will probably never use than on hand cream;Continue reading “MAY 2026”
February 2026
Kilometers The metric system is better. This pains my ‘Murican heart to say it, but sometimes the truth hurts. I do not understand why we have not adopted this far superior system yet. Look, I get it. I grew up using freedom units. My Canadian coworkers are snobby with measurements and like to look downContinue reading “February 2026”
November 2025
Why? “Daddy, why don’t we swim in the lake?”“Because the lake is full of crocodiles.”“What’s wrong with crocodiles?”“They will eat you.”“Why will they eat you?”“Because you’re tasty.”“Why am I tasty?”“Because you eat too much chocolate.” (finally, no more whys) I am the father of several small, purebred Martins. Martins are great at many things. WeContinue reading “November 2025”
September 2025
“Jellyfish are beautiful too, but you don’t add them to your swimming pool.”
June 2025
Ants in my coffee I, like most unsophisticated swine, love instant coffee. It is cheap, fast, and when done right, has its own unique flavor. Some lovingly compare the flavor to that of various manures, but I find the flavor closer to heavenly raindrops. With great delight, I discovered instant coffee was readily available inContinue reading “June 2025”
February 2025
Driving on the Moon It is now common knowledge that the moon is in fact not made of cheese. But if I were ever chosen to participate on one of the future NASA missions to the moon, I would take along a charcuterie board just in case. Lately, I have been hardcore nerding out onContinue reading “February 2025”
December 2024
above: A picture of the radar right when Isabella was born Overdue Much like the unreturned books I borrowed in the eighth grade, this newsletter is overdue. If you receive this newsletter and know my elementary school librarian, then please tell her I’m sorry… and I think my dog ate my books. I apologize forContinue reading “December 2024”
Unlucky
Unlucky “I would rather be lucky than good!” This is fine to hear from a janitor, but less so from a neurosurgeon. Some would say “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” This, again something most surgeons should try to omit from their lexicon. Luck is that feeling that somethingContinue reading “Unlucky”
August 2024
above; The “father of the faith” and his wife catch a ride to Tepic Airplanes, Babies, Etc. The next newsletter will have a picture of a baby in it, I PROMISE! Okay now I cleared that up let me catch you up to where we are currently. Over the last several months a few largeContinue reading “August 2024”
Flyin' Bryan 