I have been called many things over my short time on this earth; “handsome”, “intelligent”, “professional”, “your highness” and the much more common, “dummy”. By far and wide the largest commentator of the adjective “dummy” is my internal monologue. Have you like me ever looked high and low for your sunglasses only to realize that they were on your head the whole time? Or have you ever gotten mad at a household member for moving your keys-phone-wallet only to find them in the pants you wore yesterday? Dummy.
As a testament to my daily lack of outstanding intellect, let me share a short story of our time in Kenya. Uber is popular in Nairobi and our contact there told us to “simply get an Uber to the hangar for your tour”. I, like most millennials, am fluent in the ways of Uber, and promptly researched our different Uber options. However, when I saw the prices, I thought I must have booked a personal armored limo. The cost of our trip to the hangar was gonna cost like 30 bucks! I forcefully pushed back the bile as I hit accept and expected our stretched steel-plated hummer at any moment. When our 15-year-old rudimentary equipped Kia arrived 4 mins later I was less than “wowed”. After a short ride in the 2007 Kia Deathbox, we arrived at the hangar, and I complained about the extortionate fare, to which our contact said I did the Dollar-to-Shillings conversion wrong and that our ride only cost $2.50. Dummy. Now I almost feel bad that I stuck my gum to the bottom of our cabby’s seat…
But now it’s time to talk about some real dummies… Koala Bears. “Aww they are so cute, don’t make fun of poor Koala Bears,” you say, “everyone loves Koala Bears, you could learn a thing or two from them Bryan,” you say. “Koala Bears smell like cough drops and you smell like gross avgas,” you say. Look I am not raging war against the adorable dummies, or else I would easily win. I am simply stating facts about the Down Under’s least tasty marsupial.
Fact one; Koala Bears have a smooth brain. If you look at pictures of a human brain it has folds and ridges. A Koala bear’s brain is as smooth as a baby’s bottom. This means they have less brain surface area to form thoughts… dummies.
Fact two; Koala Bears mostly eat eucalyptus leaves. But if you pick eucalyptus leaves from a tree while a hungry Koala Bear is watching and then offer them to it…. The Koala Bear will not eat them… Zoologists believe Koala Bears only identify eucalyptus leaves while being in a eucalyptus tree… dummies.
Here comes the most surprising fact; Koala Bears live up to 15 years in the wild. 15 years of simple bliss, smelling like cough drops, and eating. Isn’t it amazing how God daily provides for the Koala Bears needs? In Matthew 6 Jesus tells us to rest in Him and not worry about tomorrow. 1 Peter 5:7 “cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you”. God tells us repeatedly in the New Testament to trust, test, and look to Him when the storm rages. Don’t be like Moses’s other brother, Toses, frantically building a boat to cross the Red Sea as the Egyptians came. Trust in the God of Moses, splitting seas since the beginning of time. Don’t be like Toses… He was a dummy.
Flyin' Bryan 